


Can’t Stomach It

by RagnersMind



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Denial, Depression, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25397068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RagnersMind/pseuds/RagnersMind
Summary: Pregnancy for males is a difficult process. Unfortunately, Ash and Eiji have it the roughest..WARNING!! This story is VERY dark and may trigger some users.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 18
Kudos: 131
Collections: Banana Fish AU Week





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. THIS IS A WORK OF FANFICTION....except the last sentence.

The males in this world, though difficult,  
can bare children of their own and create life. Once the boy turns to the age of thirteen, reproductive organs are fully in function and ready to procreate with consequences, happily or not. 

Connected to the rectum, a tube is burrowed into surrounding muscle and tunnel into an organ, similar to the woman womb. Through the tunnel, sponge like filters line the walls. These are called xcuvs. Xcuvs filter, if released inside, seed into the male womb, making it a bubbly substance.  
Attached to the top left and right, sacks of the beings own seed are released bit by bit, mixing with the outside DNA and knotting up, thus starting the construction of a fetus.  
Throughout pregnancy, another separate tunnel begins to form from the womb and dig towards the rectum. This is the path the baby will take when birthing. Throughout this step, it may be highly painful on-point-agonizing, so the partner can help by using doctor prescribed tools to loosen the rectum and massage the muscles. Or go to a Obstetrition-"gynecologist."

When birthed by a male the baby is smaller than ones from a woman, because of differences in both sexes pregnancies. It is rare, but sometimes their baby will travel down the wrong way, through the xcuvs. Being too tight, the child can be suffocated and kill the carrier. 

The mans breasts throughout the nine month period may slightly inflate as well.

...Of course, there is always safe sex, too.


	2. To Stay Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash comes home from his outdoor activities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THIS CHAPTER XD

Eiji and Ash sit on the sofa of their apartment. Ash had just gotten back from his 'outdoor activities' and finished his shower when he was called to the room. "Ash! Come here!"   
Eiji's voice was so excited that he pronounced 'come' as 'comb.' English is hard, Ash had learned over the past month of knowing the foreigner. 

Stomping into the front room, Ash places his palms on the back of the couch hard enough for the valley of his hand to redden and become carved by the edge. "What?" Ash' voice came out slightly annoyed, but he smiled softly at the bubbly look on his friends face. Eiji took a moment to calm down and look at the others clothing, jeans and light grey t-shirt long enough to wrinkle at his hips. The black haired boy had to breathe to begin again. He pointed to the screen and answered in a flat quiet voice, "we were there yesterday."

Letting out a breathy staccato chuckle, "Really? That's what you were excited about?" Ash walked around the couch and sat down next to the other boy, "you're delusional." 

"I take offense to that." Eiji puffed out his cheeks, "I can't believe you don't think that's cool." Ash took the remote and leaned back, clicking away at the channels. "It's normal." "For you." Eiji mumbled, stretching out his sore muscles. 

The blonde strands of the Americans hair swished as his face jerked to the left, "what was that?" 

Ash's tone dropped to a whisper as he caught his eye bags and slightly bigger top, that was the same size a couple days ago on Eiji. Then he realized that it was 5AM. "Eiji..when was the last time you slept?"  
Not turning around, knowing he was in trouble, he answered. "I'm not just going to go to sleep soundly knowing you're out there!" He turned around, the leather making a loud creak sound. "Do you think I wouldn't be worried?" His expression softened as his doe brown eyes held the hands of Ash' green. "I know-." That's the thing. Ash didn't know anything when it came to the life of Eiji's. He grew up in a rose garden, something that was meant to be beautiful was ruined by thorns poking into his skin, making him bleed all over the petals. Was Eiji seriously a good person? Maybe, since he didn't know for sure, he could find out. Poles for wings, the boy from Japan. 

Soft lips frowned slightly, the black hair fell to the side of his face as Eiji's head tilted to the side. "C'mon. Let's get you something to eat." 

The elder boys thighs were stuck to the brown leather sofa, pulling at his skin when leaning forward. Ash could see the irritated red on the back of his legs, lines imprinted from the couch, reached up further and under where his shorts had risen. To the more pronounced muscle.  
How long had he been sitting there?

After fixing up a bowl of fruit, to which spiked the argument of Ash eating fast food all the time, (which Ash batted back with the flashback of nato. Teeter-toter. Eiji won the argument, of course.) , and a few drinks later, the blonde carried the weirdly younger-acting boy to they're room. Suddenly, fists gripped at the collar of Ash' t-shirt and trembled. A sniffle..  
"Ash.?" The called upon boy looked down at a teary eyed, drunken nineteen year old. "Please don't leave." Eiji's voice shaking is what broke Ash' heart. Then Okumuras body was laid down on a bed, Ash' bed. He could tell by the smell. He'd sit on it sometimes. "Ash?"  
"There. Now you'll be sleeping with me, so I can't leave." 

Smiling and chuckling, Eiji curled up more into Ash' chest, intention or not be damned. "You know, I would stay here with you if I could," Eiji hummed as his eyes closed, listening to the muffled vibration in the Lynx' chest. He was no lynx to the pole vaulter. "Every second. To show you around the city. Talk about Japan- anything." Eiji's body started to fall, fall, fall. Deeper and deeper as his leg twitched against the other body's' ankle. "I love you." A small disbelieving gasp escaped the chapped lips of Callenreese. 

Eiji's eyes shot open at the words and looked into the eyes of his roommate. 

"I love you too, Aslan."

Words would be explained tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for short chapter! They will get longer. This is my first ASHEIJI banana fish fanfic so I apologize if the characterization is wonky and not to the liking!


	3. What to Do With

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Wattpad at RagnersMind for more effects and extras!!

"It can't be. We just started dating." Eiji  
shook on the bathroom floor. The tiles were cold as his rear pressed against them. Kong was sat next to the boy that hugged his knees and leaned his shoulder into the bigger ones stomach. Bones stood up, leaning against the doorframe with his pinkish arms crossed. The bracelets dangled off his wrist, strings separated from the amount of time he's worn them. Bones was close enough to the sink but made no effort to look. If anything, he shrunk his head into his shoulders, eyes trying to focus on the duo, but his peripheral was focused, teasing him. The door remained open as to not make Eiji trapped, his request. "I'l be okay, Eji. If it ends up positive, the whole gang will have your back." Kong spoke softly as his big hand rubbed the small ones back. Trying to speak, Eiji was cut off, "-Besides, it's prolly not even gonna say anythin." 

Sitting up straight in a flash, Eiji turned to Kong, "I've been getting morning sickness for a while! I collapsed on my walk with Ash, and not forgetting the top mention.. I woke up in a bed of piss!" Bones could see the pent up boys knuckles turn white from gripping his thighs. His eye twitched. The foreigners eyes softened and his lips frowned, exhaling softly, "I'm sorry..you're trying to help me- gosh I'm so.." Eiji chuckles softly with tears threatening to spill. Minutes pass with the kiss of silence. 

"I think you should look at it now." Bones eyes danced around the tab. Kong glared at the other gang member. "Give him time! This is.." 

"Big.." when they looked back at Eiji, he had stood up and stared face to face with the pregnancy test. 

Bones cleared his throat, his fangs resting on his bottom lip and denting the skin. "Huge.." he finished quietly with a rasp in his throat. It sounded like a gurgle really.

Eiji's steps echoed throughout the enclosed bathroom. Looking in the mirror, he took a look at himself, Bones didn't appear to him. He noticed his disheveled hair but his bangs were still fluffy. He wasn't as skinny anymore, eating more than usual. The t-shirt the boy wore was a pastel pink with a cartoon gasping squid peaking out of the pocket. Eiji's hands patted around the sink, fumbling for the strip. His eyes too scared to look down. Once the pregnancy test was in his light grasp, Eiji looked down.

"What-?" Bones questioned before being elbowed in the shin by Kong.

Eiji's hand suddenly wavered up to his stomach, studying back at the mirror. 

Clack.

Eiji fainted back, Kong rushing up on his knees to catch him. The gentle black man sat back down, cradling the unconscious one while waving his palm into Eiji's face. "You idiot, that doesn't work!" Bones intervened, rushing to Kong's side to place his hands on the limp body in his arms. "Well what do you suppose I do?!" Bones took Eiji and laid him on his back, tilting his head slightly up and checking his breathing. 

—

Waking up in bed with the comforter around Eiji's waist. The sun shone into the curtains, that were slightly parted, caused his eyes to open from the brightness. Sensations began to come back to him. Sleepy hair, the skin on his chest nestling against the cold sheets, the arm wrapped around his back. 

"Morning, nii-san~." Ash' lips gently moved against Eiji's temple, some of his black hair poking his cheek. The other turned his head to the side to look at the golden boy, locks shining like the old American fairy tale. "Since when are you up earlier than me?" His smooth awakening voice rumbled in his chest but still felt quiet. Ash hid the fact that he had to get up earlier that day for a deal he had planned, "Is it really that difficult to wake lil' ol' me up?" Eiji chuckled throatily into the gang leaders bare shoulder, "You're a monster." 

Ash laughed as his boyfriend sat up, "You love me."   
"I guess so." 

The lynx' eyes softened as Eiji's muscles stretched, "let me make you breakfast." 

The boy turned his head slightly, eyeing the standing teen over his shoulder by the bedside, "that's the fifth time over the past two weeks. Why do you want to burn the apartment down so badly~?" He teased with a hidden smirk behind his shoulder, cueing Ash' small smile. His bare feet slapping against wood, Callenreese stood in-front of the messy raven hair that wore gym shorts, "because, I want to thank you for the beautiful night." The serious in his tone was enough to put a whole powder of blush on the elders face. It was too sincere for his age. "I'm proud of you, Aslan." 

"LA LA LA LA." Ash escaped the room with his hands over his ears. Eiji shaking his head in disapproval and smirk. Ash really didn't like hearing his old name. Nor did he like to be more vulnerable than he already was around the pole vaulter. 

Standing up, Eiji tried making his way to the drawer to put on clean clothes. He tried. 

Eiji's stomach began to turn and pump, like a ziplock bag squeezing a thick water. "Huh?" Then it began to knot. "Ah.." he hissed at the sensation of nauseous. "Morning sickness again..?" His voice was less than thrilled. Strangely, this feeling was different. It felt as if his abdomen was breathing and stirring. The boy just wanted to lay down, so he did on his stomach. The feeling didn't get better. In fact, his stomach felt like a bump pressing against the mattress, kneading into the wrinkly blankets. Eiji burped.

Shuffling footsteps began to be heard moving from the kitchen to their room. It stopped when it got to its loudest. "Eijii." Ash sang. "You haven't even got up yet?" He didn't even notice his boyfriend kneel beside him. "This is a first." Chuckling, Ash brouht his hand to Eiji's shoulder blade. "Mm..don't touch me. Please" immediately bringing his hand to his side, Ash's eyes twitched slightly but he remained calm. "What wrong?" He asked with masked uncomfortableness. 

Eiji Okumura has been lying over the past few weeks about his morning sickness, urination problem, and the time he collapsed on the Manhattan Bridge with Ash.

'Ash, it's okay. I was just exhausted from walking. I'm not as athletic as I used to be!'

This was just another one of those instances!

"I'm too tired." Eiji groaned. After a moment of awkward silence, Ash replied, "ok." 

He didn't like to lie. Eiji would always tell the truth no matter what, but he had a horrible feeling in his gut that just told him, 'wait.'

Eventually, Aslan Callenreese has to go and Eiji Okumura had to stay. Bones and Kong would be slightly later than usual, to Ash' discontent, but Eiji didn't mind. "See you in a bit Ash." Eiji smiles softly as he kissed him gently on the nose. Ash walked to the door calmly. "Goodbye, Eiji." 

——

Ring! Ring!

It hurts it hurts it hurts..!

"Eiji? We'll be over there in an hour."

"Please! Come over now!"

"Wh-" Hands ruffled with the phone. "Eiji, what's wrong?"

"It keeps knotting! It keeps knotting! I don't know why!"

"What's knotting?"

"Please, just- come over here! I need a pregnancy test!"

They were over in five minutes.

——

Pacing back and forth, Eiji speaks relentlessly. "This is ridiculous! I can't believe I let this happen!" 

Kong and Bones hover Eiji, arms out and ready to catch him. He wouldn't run away like the time in the elevator. They were also very worried and scared for they're friend. "Eiji, take it easy. We don't want you to fall." Bones spoke calmly. "This is insane!! Do you know how f-messed up this is?!" Silence. "Ash trusted me to be careful with him. I'm supposed to be there for him and protect him. Now I'm pregnant.." his words slowed to realization. Eij sits down on the couch to the relief of Kong and Bones. "I broke it."

Crystal tears begin to run down his reddened cheeks, eyes veiny and pink. Water filled his sockets and covered his pupils and irises. "What am I going to do..? Ash is a gang leader! I c-can't force him to take care of a child! I put him in s-so muh-ch danger." Breathy sobs. Kong sits down next to Eiji slowly and hesitantly puts his hand on his back, rubbing small circles as the boy in crisis cries. "How do I tell Ash? He's gonna be so mad!" Brown eyes in realization widen, "He is going to send me back to Japan!" Loud wailing escapes, Eiji's bottom lip trembling as his chin creased. Bones walked behind the couch and leaned his forearms on it, "You're not going anywhere. Boss can't make you do anything even if he tried. He loves you, Eiji."

"Breathe, breathe." Kong pleads in a deep voice to get the hyperventilating to stop.

"You're going to be okay, man. The gang will protect you whatever you decide to do. This isn't your fault." Bones continues. "I don't want to be protected, I just want this to go away. I'm not ready for this commitment! Ash shouldn't deal with this much, he's younger than me! He doesn't even come home every night, how am I supposed to go through pregnancy on my own? I can't, I can't do it." Repeating over and over, Eiji's speaking became quick and fearful. Squeezing in between the arm rest and Eiji, Bones tries to comfort the boy that rocks back and forth. The squeaking leather becoming louder. "Yes you can." 

Quiet..

"You have to tell boss." Kong finally states.

"I know." Eiji calms down. 

"Let me make you lunch." Kong stands. "You don't even know how to make toaster waffles, oaf!" Bones calls out over his shoulder when the man enters the kitchen. Eiji's chuckles lightly.

That afternoon, Eiji and the boys eat and play some card games whilst they wait for Ash Lynx to return. The streets had become more dangerous, as they were told by the other members. The leader had ordered the two to protect his boyfriend when he was alone, 'never let him out of your sight.'  
Ash did eventually return. The door beeped and handle began to turn. The heavy metal swung open easily, no chain locked over it to the street teen's annoyance. Kong and Bones looked at Eiji knowingly, in which the seated boy nodded. "Have a good night, boss." They said quietly with a soft glare to their own leader. A 'watch it' look. It was a look nobody ever gave the Ash Lynx.

As soon as the door closed, there was quiet. So quiet that they could hear the retreating heavy footsteps and hushed talking. 

Letting out a loud groan, the tired gang leader sat down across from Eiji, the wooden chair creaking under his weight. The table sunk towards Ash once his elbows were placed. Gulping, the pregnant boy teased, "Didn't you ever learn table manners?" The tentative remark deserved a smirk, but the other only managed a soft sad smile. Watchful, the lynx noticed. "How was your day?" Ash questioned, seeing his boyfriend uncomfortable. What had got him so tense? Did he not trust him? Maybe Eiji finally came to his senses to abandon Ash, he was too scarred to take care of anyway. He can't take care of the innocent foreigner, face it.

"Tiring.." Eiji answered honestly, hiding his face into his forearms that overlapped on the table. "Yeah?" Ash lifted his palm to graze the ones knuckles, but stopped. "Mhm.."   
"Are you..?"   
"I'm fine, As. I'm just going to go to bed." Standing up, the male walked to the door to their room. Ash', still sitting, shoulders began to sink and his chest tighten in sadness. He didn't know what was going on with his own too-early-to-call lover! Didn't even ask if Eiji was okay. Stupid, speak louder. He needs you. He needs you!  
"Aslan..?"  
His tense muscles became impossibly constricted as he snapped his body towards the exhausted sounding voice. "Yes." No question.  
"Cuddle with me?"

Speed walking, he wouldn't admit it, Ash responded to the beckon. Wrapping his arms under the ex-pole vaulters armpits, the taller one places his feet on the sides of Eiji's ankles and penguin waddled the couple over to the bed. The raven hair tickled against his clothed collar bone. "You stink." Muffled grumble.  
"You grease." A muffled growl this time to his comeback.

The two burrowed into the blankets, Ash on top of the sheets and Eiji under. He had to be ready. 

"Aslan..?" Eiji's throat was choked up.

"Eiji?" Ash replied as soft as possible, trying not to mess up the Japanese trying to talk. "I.."

Two hearts collided.

"..want you to stay home tomorrow."

Home. This was home to him. It shouldn't be. This house was in the Callenreese' grasp for protection, to run away from gangs trying to shoot up his brothers. Pedophiles trying to rape the innocent. Banana Fish torment hide away. Home should be back in Japan. Where everything is, he assumes, a wonderland of no gun holding and cute cats. Rainbows galore as cliché and weird as it sounds. 

"Of course."

Eiji wished he told him about the pregnancy sooner.


	4. Time Spent Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Food ran out! Time for a trip to the market.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> Hello! Quick thing. I'm not against abortion! This is just a story and you can't not mention such topics when writing about pregnancy. ESPECIALLY an angst fanfic!

Eiji was gasping for air as his stomach rolled into his throat, emptying its contents into the toilet. Oh god it was disgusting and nauseating. He felt like he couldn't breath, panting short and hard. 

Get it all out, get it all out. 

Eiji has been sitting on the bathroom floor for about five minutes now while Ash slept. Even worse, his stomach felt like emptiness pushing itself out. Resting his temple on the seat, Eiji took deeper breaths this time, the echoing of slop ceasing. Tears fell heavily down his puffy cheeks and pooled on the porcelain, the breath from his quivering lips pushing a trail over the edge. Eiji whimpers and moans in pain, his whole body felt like a misshapen shapes painting. 

"Eiji..?"

Ash stood in the open doorway with worry in his features. Before he could work his way to his knelt boyfriend, slow fingers padded at the tap, down, and flushed the vomit down the toilet. 

"Good morning." Eiji sniffled and stood up. "Didn't feel good this morning."

"I see that." Ash stated flatly.

"Brush your teeth and meet me in the kitchen for breakfast." That and the foreigner left leaving the other in alert and confusion. Aslan shifted his feet and leaned over to see if there was anything in the bowl. Nothing. Ash would take him somewhere nice today for talk. 

Breakfast didn't even sound good for the teen when he knew his elder was hiding something. Especially over the past week being so sick. 

"We have to go downstairs today. We're running out of food." Eiji's back talked too him with the bow of the apron prettily centred between his shoulder blades.  
"I bet we do. Someone has been going over board with dinner." Ash stood at the coffee maker, practically feeling Eiji's cheeks puff out at the tease.

It was comfortable quiet but there was the smell of secrecy that lingered between them. Like a ball chain for a prisoner attached to Eiji's foot that Ash would wear with him eventually.

"You didn't tell anyone we..had sex, right?" Ash gritted his teeth in embarrassment, eyes locked on his mug he pulled out from under the machine. Feeling the need to explain- . He was used to the subject, why was it so flustering around him? "The boys have been looking at me weirdly over the past few days." This time, his body turned towards the cook, "Even making gestures when they think I can't see them."

Surprised, Eiji's feet rocked, "of course not."   
Ash would never ever admit it, but when it came to Eiji..he wanted to protect their love in a soft padded safe where no one could see them. This was no body's but theirs. Especially their love life. The innocent teens body was his to hold, to see, to touch. As well as Ash was Eiji's. He would growl at the fact of anyone, even Shorter, teasing and talking the subject of their relationship. Overprotective was something the blonde didn't care being called, just as long as he had Eiji safe under his palm. 

And the raven haired boy knew that. 

"Good." 

Eiji smiled softly.

"The foods burning."

"Uh-!"

—

After the round of crispy pancakes and bacon, the two took a visit to the market downstairs. It was small but big enough to have everything a person needed to eat, wear, and build. White walls and concrete ceiling,with cobwebs, cling onto it and some rusty spots places the employees couldn't reach. The floor was tiled blue with tiny confetti sprinkles. In the isles, yellow tiles were scattered in an uneven pattern. Ash watched as a kid, trailing behind his mother, jumped from one yellow square to another. The shelves were slightly stained but well cleaned and organized.

Pushing the cart, Eiji looked down at the grocery list in his hands while Ash, having memorized the needed items, snatched a bag of chips and dropped them into the slightly filled cart. "You'll crush them like that!" Eiji protested, stopping to reach over to adjust the position the bag laid at, making way. Ash continued forward, grabbing a tube of spice. Rocking back and forth, his sneakers squeaked on the freshly cleaned floor loudly. "He makes it up to the line and-!"

"Ash."

The movement stopped when Ashs' feet were no longer on the floor. Shooting the product directly in the cart. "He scores!" 

"You're insensible." Eiji shook his head and gave him that look. He couldn't hide the smile.

"I'd call you old in this scenario-."

"Hey! You better watch it Ca-."

"But! But, but, but," Walking to the cart, Ash stood on the front and leaned close to Eiji's face, "it's not your fault Japan has shaped you so." Tilting his head cutely, like an innocent tease. Eiji giggled at his advance and moved his head in, eyelashes fluttering closed. Chapped lips followed in suit but as soon as an elderly man made into Ash's peripherals, he pulled away and looked to the floor. "I-..uh."  
Face frozen at a tilt, Eiji's eyes winced and peaked themselves open. The annoyingly creaky cart, pushed by the man, slowly made its way passed the couple. One of the wheels was broken and spun around, the amount of time it took for the mumbling man to get down the isle was tense and dumb. The raven haired boy just smiled patiently at the blonde. 

"Put that back." Not moving his gaze, the healthy boy pointed to the pop tarts in the cart buried by other packages. Ash just pouted and did so, making sure Eiji was in his sight. 

Passing a locked glass door, pill bottles sat behind. Eiji has been dealing with heavy nausea and urinary pain over the past couple days, it had been a week and a half since the test was taken. He knew he should go to a professional, but in this situation they were in? They just can't. Taking a quick look while Ash was held back, he saw prescriptions for pregnancy sickness and numbing urinary liquids. He couldn't purchase them now, of course, but he would have to secretly come down again and look properly. The belly even started to slightly begin it's stretch. It was barely noticeable under clothing, but his body now was for sure not like six weeks ago. 

Suddenly, his back began to tighten and twist.

Going down. Now. 

Hands slipping from the handle, Eiji sunk to the floor and bent over between his knees. 

Quick footsteps and Aslan's voice, "Hey!" 

Palms were at his back and knee, another set of legs pressing against his left leg. "Eiji? What's wrong?" All green eyed focus was on the being of the other boy. "M-my back hurts a little." The curled up body mumbled in pain and leaned into Ash in seek of comfort. "Okay, okay. Let's get you up to the room."   
Standing with bent knees, scarred hands reached to soft forearms gently. Eiji looked up with a wince in his features. Using the help, the pained boy slowly stood up, pulling on his blonde's arms as well. After whining at the stretch, he stood upright. Eiji then let out a loud yelp and a long noise of pain at the full stretched in his cramped back.

Ash swooped the pained boy from his feet and abandoned the cart, speed walking his way to the elevators, side stepping through the line of shoppers. Eiji pressed himself into the body carrying him with a high pitched groan. There were eyes but Ash wouldn't give them anything, Hitting the button with his elbow, it lit up a red and white. As if there was someone watching out for them, the door opened immediately. As if that someone hated their asses, there was a pack of people in the elevator that seemed to be going up from the parking lot below the ground. He would have taken the stairs but Eiji needed taken care of quickly. Proving that point, the boy hiccuped.

Pushing into the collected bodies, Ash waited. The doors closed with a clink.

There's nothing to look at in elevators, except when there's a blonde teen holding a raven haired.. child? It was uncomfortable.

Finally making his way into the apartment, the door was closed gently. Setting down Eiji in bed was gentler. "How bad?" Ash's question urged. "Not bad. Calming down."

"I'll get you some ibuprofen." 

"I-." 

Nothing else was exchanged when that sentence was said. Ash hurried to the kitchen. Eiji was left in silence laying on his side. Quick and loud rustling in the other room was caused by the 'calm and collected' gang leader. Coming back with the orange pill in his palm, a bottle of, not too cold, water. (It stings Eiji's teeth.) A small left over pastry from one of their tour outings was cupped in a napkin. "Here."

The orange pill in his trembling palm. 

'Ibuprofen increases the chance of miscarriage in the first 30 weeks of pregnancy.'

With a gulp, Eiji stares.

"It'll help with the back. You gotta sit up to take it." Aslan used his calm voice to comfort the pained boy he cared so deeply about.

If Eiji Okumura took enough of these small pills, it would be over. The baby would disappear and flush out. The process hasn't fully started yet so he could still go back! To normal, no stress around the oblivious father, no anxiety of safety checking what to eat and drink. Sickness and the UTI would go away and he could work back up to being strong and slim. The precautions wouldn't hold the gang back. What if they needed to be quick enough? Eiji and Ash could be captured again and if the pregnancy is found out by Dino, it would be catastrophic. He couldn't do that to Ash nor himself. 

Take it and no one will have to know.

Eiji brought his palm to his mouth and rose his hand diagonally. The pill slid down his clammy skin and..

Eiji stretches his tongue up to balance the pill. Gulping, the pill dropped back into his hand. Quickly bringing his hand to his side, the pill was slipped under the covers sneakily. His throat and stomach was great-full for the cool water, though! Not too freezing to sting his teeth. 

Sitting and quietly chatting, the round, dough-jam pastry was devoured. 

Ash never knew about the ibuprofen under the blankets. If Eiji had to deal with back pain for the rest of the day, so be it.

This was Ash's child he bore. Their life they miraculously created out of pure love in a dark place. Eiji would get himself ready to tell the father of his baby.

-

"Hello. This is room 231. Yeah, we left a cart of groceries down there in isle five, is it still there? Oh good. Can you please scan all of it and put it on my card. ..Yes I'll be down in an hour or so. Alright. Thank you so much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Wattpad for more effective scenes! @RagnersMind


	5. It’s Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash and Eiji have an outing. A not so good outing.

Ash knows about the slow increase in Eiji's shirt sizes and the tightening, less frequent wear in jeans. He didn't have a good feeling about this change in wear. Nothing was ever spoken about the Banana Fish incident at Dino's mansion, Eiji had reassured him he was okay but now Ash was frightened. They managed to save Shorter before any injection happened, could he say that they weren't too late for the ripped clothing boy? What if something actually happened to Eiji in..that room? Finally, now was the time he'd come to terms with it. Oh god, please let him be wrong. 

"Yes, I need to take a break." 

"Ash! You can't leave us now. Do you know how much shit we're in?" 

The lynx opened his mouth to argue. Of course he knew!

"As much as I would love for you to break like a Kit Kat bar from this mess..you just can't right now. It's too dangerous. We got work to do." Shorter spoke sadly. His hair was still in its signature purple, but the strands were more choppier and the undercut had patches of bald from the Dino experiment. The duo were walking through the maze of alleyways filled with gun smoke, keeping their guard up while their conversation was relaxed. "Especially when you have Eiji waiting at home." The Chinese smirked, causing the other to blush madly. "He's fine!" The look of uncertainty in Ash' eyes after was enough to soften Shorter's expression during the silence.

Rounding a corner, Shorter began. "What's up with him?" It was straightforward, being the lynx' best friend.

"I don't know, Shorter. He's sick most mornings and," turning his head sharply, Ash looked behind him. Nothing. "he's stand off..ish. He seems fine but I know he's hiding....s-something." Their bloodied sneakers didn't make a sound through the tunnels in between buildings. Oh what the hell. He could trust Shorter. He needed guidance anyway, then the gang leader can do the rest himself. Ash continued quieter, "Eiji gets very crampy and..soft nowadays."

"Soft? You're weird, man." Shorter chuckles, pistol raised. 

"He gets tired through the day and gets..fragile." Ash glared. 

This sent the comrade to a more concerned approach, looking at his best friend. "Seems like you already know what it might be." 

Scoffing, Ash shook his head and choked on his words. 

"I'm not telling you how to deal with your own boyfriend, but you gotta be patient until Eiji is ready to tell you. Keep an eye on him and make sure he don't do anything stupid." Ash gulped. 

"Ahhh, you'll be fine, buddy!~" the purple haired figure wrapped his arm around the other gang leader with a wide smile. "Get your bloody arm off me! You'll get me dirty!" Ash yelled in annoyance.

"Hey you two! Freeze!" Gun clicks. Four men stand at the end of the alleyway, a sidewalk and street behind them. No lamp shining on them. 

"Oh there they are!" Shorter takes cover while Ash fires.

—

Coming home to the apartment was a field trip of anxiety. Ash knew Eiji would be awake waiting for him, he always was. But when the gang leader came back with dried blood on his knuckles, shirt, and shoes, Eiji's scold and sad gaze sat waiting. 

The door slowly creaked open and the blonde hair poked into the opening. A head covered by thick soft cloth leaned against the cushions of the couch. Tiptoeing through the metal door and across the wooden floor, he tried his best to succeed a silent trail to the shower. Ashs' toes were the ones to softly collide to the cold surface first, then rocking to the balls of his feet. Not even air moved when the gang leader snook, years of practice. "I hear you." The hoarse voice on the couch spoke, not turning. Internally wincing, Ash walked to the back of the couch. His arms were stiff placed on the back, head looking down at the face below him. "Already in your pyjamas?" 

"It's six in the morning.." Eiji's small voice squeaked. He looked up from the manga in his hands and into those pale cheek bones. Nestling his forehead against the smaller ones, Ash whispered into the soft locks of black, "Go to sleep." 

Eiji turns around on his knees, rising to press his chest against the broader ones in a comfortable brush, "Go with me." 

Ash nods and holds his hand out for Eiji to grab, which he does and hops over the leather obstacle. "Why do you never come to that side of the couch?" He picks at his teeth. 

Ash responds, "'cause I like it this way."

—

His breath was fresher. Felt fresher, a good thing. It was the seventh week of the pregnancy and Eiji still wasn't used to the sickness. The pills for pain were helpful, but didn't quite disapparate all of the nausea and stinging. 

The plan for the day was to go to the dock, look at the city and have a calm lunch. In Eiji's opinion, it didn't sound like a bad idea at all! So, he was getting ready- not something too tight to expose his ever growing body and stomach. Digging through the messy closet, Ash and him shared, he pulled out a baggy, pastel pink t-shirt along with dark grey sweatpants.

Ash was finally going to talk to Eiji about what the situation was. He already put together a healthy sandwich and gently placed it in a beautiful basket made by the neighbour Mrs. Coleman. Ash could do this. 

Exiting the room, Eiji skipped to the kitchen. "Ready?" He piped out. "Yup, was waiting for ya." Ash replied when slipping his arm through the wooden woven handles. "That wasn't a tease." 

A long sigh escaped from Eiji's lips, "Finally! Big brother gets a break." 

"He's gotta get a break sometimes!"

"You're killing me, Ash." Eiji smiles brightly. "You're right. And so should you!"

Ash smiled sadly and slowed his breathing, giving a short "yes."

— 

On the walk towards the beautiful dock, they're shoes tapped the concrete sidewalk and caressed the old black gum that was carelessly spat out. As a young boy would, Eiji never stepped on the lines separating each plate of road, the crack. Like a young schooler boy, his higher vocal chords vibrated smoothly in hum whilst thinking of something to talk about. Ash, on the other hand, looked up instead of bothering to avoid silly cracks and chunks of smushed food. Looking up and to the sides every step, turning his jaw to the side to have eyes behind them. His watch was patterned but always aware, never tired. Because it would get to overused, Ash changed the sequence and time of vision.

The sun was high and bright, beating down on the couples body's. Since Eiji lived in cooler temperatures, he took the heat hard. Not a cloud in sight either. What misery.

"It's so hot today!" 

Ash's guard was lowered when the voice spoke. "It gets pretty hot, especially with all of the buildings and roads." Eiji nods and tips his head to the side, "How hot does it get? Usually."

Usaly. You- zsh-alley. 

"Hmm, maybe about 90 degrees? 100 is our worst."

"A hundred?!!" Eiji bent slightly and got closer to the New Yorker in shock. His doe eyes widened with a bead of sweat trickling down his brow. Ash chuckled and nodded, blonde hair bouncing at the frame and into his face. "That's ridiculous!" Eiji mumbles to himself in amazement, looking forward. "It's unbearable, how do you not die in this?"   
"You get used to it. It's just sweat. C'mon, you were an athlete, right?" 

Wincing, Eiji nodded shyly, "Right." Even the correction was shy.

Echoing of power drills and road tractors bounced off of the tall towers of New York City. To Ash, it was annoying. For Eiji, it was an unheard of symphony.  
—  
Nope. Not at all. Nothing what they expected nor wanted.

The couple approached groups of large on the dock. People yelling to hear each other, kissing, hugging in tight spaces pressed against people's backs, squeezing through the small spaces to get in and out. Clicking cameras..weight heavily pushing against the safety fence. The black barred fence creaked and tipped over the ledge where waves of water crashed upon and soaked. The tall boy already wasn't a fan of walking upon the crowded side walks, so add this and you have a grumpy on edge lynx with widened eyes. Rays of sun beamed against the buildings across the river and bounced off the shiny windows, salt water below glimmering.

"Looks like it's crowded today." Eiji chuckles lightly, wobbling on his feet to gain balance. The smell snuck up into his nostrils and straight to feeding his nausea. Salt, sweat, feet, smoke, sewer. Holding onto Ashs' sleeve gently, he made sure his fingers were gripping onto something. 

"Let's look for an open spot." Ash pushes on and behind the crowd, Eiji in follow. It wasn't a fun scene for the boy himself. Kids screaming and wailing things he couldn't understand. His stomach turned in every step, the sweat was making his shirt feel tight and his hair reek of outdoors. "Wait. Ash-." Eiji whined when the other pressed on, disconnecting his sleeve from the boys grasp. There was no ground anymore. His feet wouldn't move even if he tried, it's like trudging through thick pudding. Beneath the layer of greasy raven hair was a brain that spread and spun, clanging on the sides of its skull cage. "Ow..stop." Colours spinning and brightening. Lifting his small hands, the tone of his skin changing into a blue with a yellow lining. Then red. Then green. "That's not..?" Stumbling closer to the crowd on his left, lured into the claws of danger, his peripherals caught a tall broad man. Oh great. His facial features were twisted in seeking, feign a look of confusion. Looking for prey. 

Grasped in his palms, a cellphone. Two young girls stand behind him with they're eyes locked. The mans chest was wide with thick muscly thighs, wearing a collared shirt and tan khakis. Sunglasses shielded his eyes from the bright, hiding his intentions. He began striding towards Eiji. The boys right leg stepped backwards but it wasn't fast enough, the guy was towering over him, hairy arm reaching out.

Towards him.

The mans palm touched his stomach, "Excuse me, would you mind taking a picture of us?"

The lights went out in Eiji's brain and his eyelids closed. Ash already had his eyes on him and saw his knees tremble, giving out. Dropping.

The blonde darted and dove to catch the boy into his arms before hitting the concrete ground, which he did. Back scraping upon impact, Ash winced and held Eiji close into his chest. "Oh gosh! Is he okay? Should I call 911?" The man above them bent down and all eyes were on them. That's the least thing Ash needs.

"He's fine!" The gang leader bit back and slid his feet against the ground, scooting backwards with a wiggle. The protective lynx bent his head down and protected the smaller ones face and body. Ash whispered to the boy below him, knees up, "Eiji. Eiji! Are you here?" voice rough and panicked. There was no reply, of course. He was unconscious. "Don't worry. I got you. I got you now.."  
People were staring. They had to get out of there.

—

On the run home, Ash bumped into many shoulders of civilians on the road. Eiji's breath was picking up and his body heat was immense and not because of the sun. His cheeks were pink and black eyebrows knitted. "Hang on, hang on." Ash's voice heaved in a worry whine. He couldn't call Shorter or his boys, hands being full. It would have to wait till they were in the apartment.  
-  
Eiji was carefully descended down on-top the leather couch, the cold cooling off the unconscious ones body. Ash kneeled down next to Eiji, whose arm was hanging off the side. Moving the boys limb to his side, Ash took his phone and dialled Shorter. "Yo!" 

"Shorter get over here. I think Eiji dropped."

"On my way with Sing. Be right there, Ash."

Eiji's shirt needed off along with the baggy sweatpants. Slipping his clothing off, Ash tugged at his sleeves, pant legs , and threw them across the room. Rushing to the drawer in their bedroom, he dug for a light green baggy shirt in his drawer and gym shorts. Upon entering the living room again, this time Shorter and Sing await by Eiji's side. "Get him a cold rag." Shorter urged Sing into the kitchen. The young swung his knees out from under him to the side, wiping the floor with his tough jeans and standing up, off to his task. Ash didn't freeze, already beginning to dress Eiji.

Drops can happen when an individual, especially a pregnant one in defence, is stressed and in need to take cover, not able to deal with the situation at hand.

"Why did he drop?" Shorter asked quickly as he propped the unconscious ones head on a couch pillow gently. "It was crowded today at the dock. A guy approached him then he gave out." Ash answered, checking the wrist by Eiji's sides pulse. "Stress might be." Shorter hummed.

"Or defence." Sing imputed, voice echoey from the tiled kitchen. 

"Where's that rag, Sing?!" Shorter demanded, holding onto Eiji's feet for no reason. To comfort? How?

"Right here." Sing tossed them cold wet rag over the couch to Shorter. Among the catch, water was splashed onto his face and trailed down his cheeks, forehead, neck, and leaving splotchy stain in shirt. Placing the cold rag on the panting boys hot head, Ash rubbed Eiji's cheek in attempt to calm him, "We're right here, Eiji. Calm down. We'll fix it." The hardcore rasps slowed and smoothed out into a harsh staccato exhale, but for drops that was a regular breathing pattern that will calm in due time.  
"Good. Good, Eiji. Breathe." A whiney moan escaped from the unconscious boys lips, back slightly rising along with knees twitching up to cage his body. His stomach. "There you go.." 

After a couple of minutes, the worry was loosened and the drop ran its course. Aslan never left Eiji's side when Sing offered coffee. 

"Cmon man! Let me just have the rest of the sandwiches! We've been workin' hard today yknow!" Shorter begged when he tried to unseal the ziplock baggie that contained sandwiches.

"No."

"Ohh pleeease! I'm sooo veery hangry brooo!" The purple guy groaned. "Shorter. Quit it." Sing snapped at his lousy leader. "Geez, Sing." That was enough to sit Shorter back down onto the recliner to finish his coffee.

"Make your own food and stop comin' over here to feast. You're rippin' my pockets." Ash's face was flat faced. "You love when I come over, baby~." Shorter teased, swirling his mug. "Don't test me." Ash glared with no hate. The grandfather clock made of wood and gold decor dung in slow song, dancing around the rooms. It would go on for so long they never know when it would stop. "No patrol tonight, Ash." Sing stood. "Wouldn't try, Sing." Ash gave a lazy thumbs up hanging on his knees.

"Goodbye, Ash." 

"Goodbye Sing." 

The metal door shut with a click and a rumble of the walls. Quiet ticking from the clock. Ash picked at Eiji's limp and possibly numb fingers. "Is he gonna be alright?" Shorter slid down the recliner, leaving the foot rest up, and down to the carpet floor. Ash took a deep inhale and sighed, "Yeah. He'll be okay." Replied. More comfortable but tension filled quiet. Tension of both of them having something to say but not knowing how to speak it. "He's a keeper. I really think..that I'm truthfully happy with him." Green orbs reflected light across to Shorter. A light that isn't so easily seen anymore around these parts. Especially in the gang leader.

Hope.

"Stay with him to your minds wishes." Purple strands fall down to Shorters hairline. Teeth softly showing. "Isn't it supposed to be 'the heart'?" Ash tipped his head and smirked. "You ain't got no heart, man." 

"Damn right." Ash chuckled and pantomimed cheers, causing a loud chest laugh to sound. "Shhh, you'll make it more difficult for him to wake!" The blonde giggles a whisper. 

The time comes to where Shorter rises and stretches, clenching his teeth and groaning. He waves and vanishes. The sky darkens and stars shine. An intake of breath is made, a small gasp. Unfortunately, the worried edged lynx doesn't hear, his head resting in the palm of the others hand. A moan and shuffle. Eiji sits up. His eyes squeeze close and back arches to stretch. What happened?

"Ash." Eiji rasps when he pets they blonde locks side to side. Ash immediately jolts to sit up, "I'm up, I'm up!" He snorts and frantically looks around. The boy above him giggles when their eyes connect. "Eiji.." He starts with relief, he could say that name forever. Walking to the kitchen, the boy grabbed a glass of water, not too much ice but enough for it to cool the awakened. Ash returned to the floor beside him and offered the glass. Eiji took it with a nod of thanks and tipped the cup to his bottom lip, his teeth touching the cold solid. Water droplets rushed down the sides of the cylinder and fell upon Eiji's exposed thigh. Shivering, the boy drank. Tired gulping was heard in both of their ears and only stopped when the hands set the empty cup in his lap. Ash offered to take but the other shook his head, a mistake, and brushed the condensation against his forehead. 

"What happened?" Drowsily, Eiji asked, eyes clearing up. 

"You fainted."

"Dropped?"

... 

"..Dropped." Ash nodded.

Black strands toppled down when Eiji's face looked down at his lap. The other was left to awkwardly breathe, picking at a loose thread in his jeans. "I'm-." Eiji paused, leaving Ash to finish the thought. "Me too," Doe eyes gleamed in admiration, "let's go to bed." Humming in agreement, exposed thighs slide over to the side before feet clap softly on the floor. He rocks his hips upwards to worm off the sweaty cushions, trying to stand. "Auof!" Hands clasped around Eiji's stomach, a crease in his t-shirt fold at the top of the belly. "Woah, take it easy." Ash rose on his knees, hugging his roommates back and pulling him up gently, "Let's help you to the room."

Soft arm around a haired neck, weak legs against sturdy floor. 

Eiji sat on the bed, stretching. Light from the bathroom, door opened, shone on his milky skin. The light bulbs were soft from being used frequently. Spitting mint, swirling down the drain, sticking to the top of the bowl where water is unreachable naturally. Fresh breath. Ash walks into the room, reaching back and flipping the light switch off. "Feeling better?" He sits down at the edge of the bed, Eiji's head leant back on the head board. "Much. Thank you." His crossed legs bounced. 

Opened curtains framed the city lines, street lamps absorbed by the concrete. A bigger picture of stars and blinking lights from planes. Cackling of drunk teenagers and motorcycles. Youth and traffic. Colourful lights. Beautiful. The sirens sound waves up and down, up and down. 

If this incident were to happen again, who knows what would happen. Eiji felt calm, like he could tell his love anything and it would be okay. 

"Baby, you need to tell me what's going on." Ashs' blonde eyebrows furrowed in complete worry. Tears began to fill brown eyes red with irritation. "I don't know how to tell you this.. I..Ash!" A silent cry escaped Eiji's opened mouth. He has to have him time. Tender and sad time watching the other in pain. Ash scoots wiggles to sit in front of Eiji who has his wrist to his mouth. He brings his palm to the teared cheek and wipes with his thumb. "Hey. I'm here for whatever you have to say. Nothing can hurt you." Ash pushes his face close to Eiji's, looking into his stressed eyes. "Don't fret, bun. I won't be upset, I'm here to help."

Tell him, not tell him. He has the right to know. This will mess him up- stress him out further beyond! Will it really help to keep lying? What happens when the pregnant belly shows. What happens when the pain starts? The birth. Ash would be a father and he doesn't know if he would want that or not. This child could quite literally be the death of him.

Then he looked into Ash's eyes. Caring and patient. Masked worry and love. He's follow him through anything.

Eiji took a deep breath. "Ash."

He could do this.

"It's been seven weeks."

Okay. Ready.

Ash tensed. "And I'm sorry I hid it from you..really."

It's time.

"I."

..Ready.

Eiji presses his nose and forehead fearfully against the ones in front of him, "I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant..! ..I'm pregnant." His eyes were squinted closed and his body tended so hard that he rose. 

There was no reaction. Eiji opened his eyes and maneuvered his head to the side of the Americans face, cheek against blonde hair covered cheek. Whispering in his ear, "I'm pregnant, Aslan." It was said like a quiet gift. 

Ash's pupils were shrunken today the point his eyes were all colour. "Oh God.." his breathing picked up, harsh and fast.

In rage..

"Fuck..!!" 

"A-Ash..?" Eiji leaned back to see his boyfriends features. He didn't have time because said boyfriend was standing up and swiping the nightstand lamp off and to the floor, cord ripped out. Eiji flinched hard in shock. "That fucking bastard!!" Blonde hair turned in strands when the body did a 180, arms extending out and grabbing the square framed mirror on the wall, gripping onto the turquoise carvings and slamming it to the floor. "Ash!" 

"I'll kill him! I'll fucking kill him!!" The lynx' voice and actions were livid, tone filled with cracks and rumble. Like a lion defending its territory. When Eiji has pieces of together, the lynx was already stomping out of the room, breaking the door on his way out. "Wait a minute!" Eiji got up and chased the enraged boy. Ash opened every white cabinet in the kitchen, flinging every glass, mug, and plate out. "Where is it?!" He growled, low voice shaking on force. Bare feet mindlessly walked over the glass, reaching for Ash' shoulder. A clicking sound was made and Ash now had a gun. Where did he even hide it. "Prick son of a cock biting bitch-! Move!!" Blinded by fury, Ash yanked away from the touch, and strode away. Eiji was whiplashed and slid to the shattered floor. "That fucking Dino! I knew it!" Screams. "Ash!" Getting up, sprinting to the door and gripping the end of his protective boyfriends shirt, pulling. Ash stoped and turned back to Eiji, pupils shrink and outlined in blue leaving a fill of green. The look of hatred he gave Arthur, Dino. Many people. 

"It's you! It' you!"

Ash stood still, panting.

"It's you!" Eiji cried, hugging the fabric in his grip. 

Ash turned around slowly, calmed. He fished his shirt out of his boyfriends palms and replaced it with his own. "It's ours." Eiji continued, reassuring, the gun had been dropped to the floor (The foreigner didn't know what kind). 

"O-ours?" Fat tears strolled down onto his pale skin, into his lips and making salty mixtures. Eiji nodded with a smile, tearing up too, "Yes!" He chuckled airily. Scarred hands hesitantly hovered the now noticeable to him pregnant belly with disbelief. "It's okay! Go ahead." Eiji smiled and sniffles, shirt stained with tears. Ash gasped in awe when they connected, looking up at the owner in reassurance in which Eiji profusely assures. "You needed to know. I'm s-so so sorry! I put you in danger and now I'm an even bigger slow down in..this!. You can send me back to Japan, I get it. I'm such an idiot."

"God Eiji no!" Ash embraces the other tightly, "This is not your fault! I'm not mad, I'm not kicking you back to Japan knocked up." Black hair is untangled and stroked. "I'd never thought I could have such a thing in this life.."

"Of course you can, Ash." Eiji shook his head and looked up at the taller one. "I'm sorry it happened this way. During all of this. I'm unforgivable."

"We'll get through this together. I will protect you. And after this is all done, we can take the three of us to your promised land." Ash squeezes Eiji's hands two times in comfort. "This is..unbelievable." Ash took a step back to knot his fingers through his front hair. "Seven weeks.." Taking in the sight of his impregnated boyfriend, he gasped and began to cry. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" 

"I'm scared." Eiji trembled and rubbed his arm. 

"Of me?"

"Never! For you. This is a gigantic change that you weren't ready for! Especially with how so many have treated you." The sentence was ended quietly. 

"I know that!" Ash snapped and corrected, "I know that." 

"How are we gonna do this?" Eiji hugged himself.

"We'll do it." Ash pulled Eiji to his chest once again.

Seconds passed felt like minutes, "We're going to talk about this tomorrow. For now, let's sleep." Ash leaded his boyfriend to their room. Eiji cuddled the fluffy covers and was already getting sleepy eyes. "I need to get some water real quick. I'll be right back." Ash rubbed his shoulder and a muffled two syllable him followed. Shutting the door to their room, Ash slid down to the floor, looking forward. Rubbing his face, he scoffed. 

"How am I gonna do this?"


	6. I’m Going To Be a Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Step closer to accepting Eiji carrying Ash’ child

Kitchens are weird, right? It's the place to make grand meals for parties, family gatherings, holidays. Memories are made in them good or bad. But, the dining room is where the food is escorted for consumption. What is so important about the dining room, so different about the process of creating, crossing the souls fingers, perfection? Anxiety, happiness, clumsiness, bliss, remembrance, anything can reside in the kitchen. When a murder happens, does it usually happen in the dining room? No. It happens in the kitchen where tools are easy to grab quickly to defend or banish. Blood stains the tiles, cabinets and oven. The heat can lick its thumb and sizzle the blood right into every atom of the surface making sure it stays, gooey and evaporated. Residue of the crimson will be tasted in every meal.  
Staining knives and rusting them. A life ending in the kitchen. Memories are made in the kitchen.

Waking up to bacon is unpleasant. The grease can't be filtered out. The nose and throat are forever choking on it, forcing the body to get up. But for Ash, it was the best smell ever. The start of a simple morning for normal lives. Eiji runs to the kitchen, barefoot he forgets, and tries to slide, tripping and stumbling. Ash chuckles at the heard stomping to regain balance, eyes on the pan with a whistle. It was only a matter of time the black hair would fall over his shoulder and a heavy chin was set down. "Morning, Ash."

Moving his gaze to his shoulder, he looks at Eiji's face. The others eyes are closed and a soft smile halfway hidden by the bunched up sleeve of Ash' shirt. 

"Good morning, Eiji." Ash greeted with a kiss on the cheek, a rare thing. Reaching back he strokes his fingers through the others hair. 

"What's on the menu toda- oh! I'm sorry, I should be cooking." Stepping away bashfully, Eiji covers his face with pale hands. 

"No, I'm the one that should be cooking." Ash' tone is soft and grateful. Setting aside his cooking, the blonde walks over to the black haired boy, carefully placing his palms on the sides of the now noticeable baby bumped stomach. Eiji hums and relaxes against the counter as the taller one kisses his shoulder like it's a temple. "Ash~, you're quite giftful today." An exhale escapes his tensed chest. Twisting his face into the warm ones neck, Ash mumbles. His legs frame the smaller ones, skin rubbing against gym shorts. Palms press more securely and cup Eiji's stomach. "How could I not?" A whisper.

Breakfast passed by with silence. Ash across from Eiji and Eiji across from Ash at the round table just outside of the kitchen. There was nothing to say. No newspaper today. Just the chewing of food and the tapping of the blondes foot. The other did get nauseous during the first few bites, rushing to the bathroom to exit daily sickness. Ash was there for every part, holding black bangs back and encouraging words.

"Good job..you're okay."

Eiji pants, whimpering when he slumps over. Ash holds the other while sitting against the tub. 

Plates were put away by the calm gang leader, he insisted. Remaining at the table, Eiji writes in a journal he bought a month ago. The faucet turns off and skin is dabbed with a towel, "What are ya writing?" Ash walks over beside Eiji, playing with his hair. "Pregnancy log." Replies the smaller one, pen in hand filling out a self made chart. This makes Ash go quiet. 

"We will talk about it." Eiji assures him by holding his hand. "Now." Ash squeaks out. If others had heard the tone in his voice, they would shoot him. It was unbelievable that the notorious gang leader of New York to sound such way; vulnerable. "Now? Like.." Eiji turns, "now now?" Ash nods. He hadn't got much sleep after the news of his boyfriend carrying a child that himself had planted in him.

"You're seven weeks. We need to take you to a doctor and see when your phases are." Speaking quickly, Ash kneels down before the other. Eiji gives the blonde below him a sad look, "What doctor? I've looked, Ash. There are none."

The calloused hands place themselves on small knees and rub up and down from thigh to caps. "I'll find one. I swear," Eiji smiles sadly. "and I will take care of you." This gets Eiji going. "I can take care of myself. You have to make sure that no one on your side gets hurt and protect the area. You can't be distracted by me." Ash looks at the other in plea, changing his position and standing on his knees, leaning forward between plump pale thighs. "This can't put you at risk. I can do the hiding while you continue the fight-"

"While you deal with this? I don't think so." Ash argues.

"Hey-"

"Did you learn about this?! Do you truly know what this is?! You'll kill yourself if you do this in your own!"

"Of course I know!!" Eiji chokes on a whimper, clutching his stomach and placing a hand on the space between crotch and thighs, resting on the wood of the chair. Ash' strong eyes soften immediately. "I'm fucking scared!" Brown eyes shine when tears spill over cheeks.

Ash immediately regrets raising his tone. He had taken his fear out on Eiji and made the person he loved most cry. I am such an idiot. "I-I'm sorry.." The blonde rises and takes the other in an embrace. "You're gonna be fine. We'll do the right things and I'll help you with whatever needs to be done."

Nodding, Eiji calms down from his fear, "O..Okay." He trusts the other with his life. Their lives. 

"I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"It's okay.." 

They whisper back and forth to each other before going quiet. "I'm going to be a father." Ash chuckles with happy tears which makes Eiji smile sweetly.

"No matter what, even when you stupidly believe it's your fault or if you will slow ya down, I am going to take care of us." The blonde holds the others small hands in one of his own. "I didn't break your trust?" Eiji questions in fear before the boys below him shakes roughly, not breaking eye contact. "Never."

"You could never hurt me."

"You're going to be a daddy." Eiji smiles brightly and Ash nods, happy his boyfriend is feeling brighter. "We are going to be dads, Eiji."

Eiji giggles. 

"I'm gonna be a father!!" Ash picks up Eiji, throwing his over his shoulder to spin him. The black haired boy squeaks in joy. 

The blonde sets Eiji back down, legs sliding against each other. Lips connect and move in synchronized praise. After a couple of cherished seconds, they disconnect, still closer than ever.

"I can't wait to raise our baby with you." Eiji's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it was kinda crap but I just wanted to get something published.


	7. Growth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eiji enters the first phase of pregnancy.

As weeks passed, of course Eiji's stomach grew bigger and protruding over the hem on his jeans and stretching the fabric slightly. Ash had to remind himself to get more suitable clothes for him. Nausea was still, and always would be, relevant but the past couple days new symptoms started to show up. 

The blondes fingers moved across keys, clicking clanking. He had still not found a doctor yet and blamed himself greatly. Especially when the first phase began. Now, it was a little awkward at first, but it was apart of life. It happens! They just had to get used to it. Eiji wraps his arms around the other at the kitchen counter, nose tickled by blonde strands.

Ash felt two plush bulges press against his back followed by a grunt of discomfort. "Do they still hurt?" He stops typing to feel the other. Eiji replies with, "mhm." The boy turns around to see the other, breasts noticeable from the thin cloth. They were small and stiff. "Aww, baby." Ash frowns in sympathy, "Did you try the heating pad?" Eiji replies, "Too heavy.." whiny and puffed cheeks. Hands glide their way under the cloth and up the hilled abdomen, making it to the sensitive boys small breasts. Ash' palms cup them even when there isn't much too hold. "You hungry?" Eiji hums and bobs his chin. "Yeesssss. Tacos, tacos, taacosu!"

Chuckling, Ash looks down at the excited boy. "When have you liked tacos?"

"Since always." He pokes Ash' stomach, twirling in place. "Last nights dinner was pretty good, uh?" Swiping his thumb under the valley of sack and ribs. The black haired boys face goes green and he burps, "Nauseating." 

"What?! You said, quote, 'This is the best food I have ever tasted! I want to eat it everyday!' What happened Hmm?" He stops rubbing and tilts his head in fake confusion. Cravings.

"I don't like it!" Eiji whines and presses his head to Ash' shoulder who chuckles. "Okay okay. I'll make us tacos."

"Yay!"

-

The two lay on the couch and watch TV, nibbling on the hard shells and meat. Eiji protested eating in the living room from the possible mess it would leave, but here he was laying on top of the other. Ash loved the feeling of his boyfriend close to him. It brought him comfort and affection. Affection he was sure he didn't deserve. The feeling of a stretched out stomach, rubbing against his side, processing a literal miracle was too much for words. 

"Wait, so Johnny is leaving her?" Eiji's voice booms in anger, he props himself up on his elbows. The blonde nods, "Yeah."

"Why?" The foreigner frowns at the screen. "Because they knew he had a thing for Baby. They'd give him a bonus if he left." Ash explains never taking eyes off of the boy on top of him, skin changing colours from the televisions flashes. Eiji pouts and hums 'Love is Strange' from earlier on in the movie. "He better come ba- ack. Ow." Worry fills in the green orbs as he feels the others stomach tighten and twitch from the gears turning inside of Eiji to make a ball of DNA. "What's wrong?" The question spews out like pranksters in a Walmart. "My chest hurts." The black boys hair dangles as he looks down. He whispers softly with a whimper. "It makes me look like a girl." He frowns. Rubbing the bottom of his boyfriends shirt, Ash asks, whispers quieter, "Can I see?"

Eiji nods and arches his back slightly to give Ash a good look as his hands start to pull his shirt up his stomach. Small breasts bounce and peak out from under the tops, nubs pointy and cold. The surrounding flesh is red. Ash stares with his mouth slightly open. He brings his palms to cup the two of them like two teenagers sharing their bodily secrets. "They're so cute." Ash praises with a coo when Eiji mewls from the uncomfortable feeling of a new body part. "You look so beautiful, Eiji." Experimentally, the blondes hands begin the fondle the breasts, moving them together massaging the backs. Small smacks of skin on skin serve as a background for the movie playing, Eiji's mewling the main course. They were so sensitive and exotic. Ash stops and kisses the others cheek, pulling the shirt down, "Tell me when they get painful, okay?" He comforts. Eiji nods. "M'okay."

—

When Ash Lynx did have to eventually leave, Kong and Bones come over. As known, as usual. This time, the Japanese had a bigger stomach and tits that were definitely not there before. Or as the cool kids say it, 'honkers.' 'Badonkers.' 'Mega tatas.'

This is what the bigger male was afraid of happening..

Kong enters with a loud greeting, walking into the kitchen to sit on the barstool. Instead, he stops when his eyes catch the roommates bigger belly than last time and.. 'growth.' Eiji stares at him with a large blush. "Kong, can you help me get my couch out of the-...later." Bones trails off when he walks in, seeing his friend stand so still. "Hello..?" His tone softens and he gets ready to fight, reaching for the knife in his belt loop. Kong coughs, scaring Bones, and looks down, rubbing his nose, "Eiji, oh uhmm." Awkwardly, the big gang member shifts his weight from foot to knee. Eiji says nothing. His arms dangle at his sides.

Feet stomping on wood, Ash walks into the room with combat boots, dark green jeans and a loose white wife beater. In his ears pierced a dangly loop lined with jewels. Eiji didn't want to begin figuring out the outfit. "Alright Eiji, I'm about to head out." Starting a question, he is cut off with the answer. Kong and Bones were here. And they were staring, studying, at the other with awkwardness. The gang leader hated how they were looking at his boyfriend. Like he was weak, vulnerable.

"Hey." Ash snaps the two out of thought, growling. "Stop it." He warns. 

This just gets Bones and Kong more pent up. Changing the subject, Bones replies with a raspy 'yes, boss', immediately bowing down to the other, age be ignored. Only strength mattered around here. 

"You'll protect him." Ash makes his way to Eiji, gently grabbing his wrist and hiding their intertwined fingers behind the blondes thigh. 

"Of course." Bones nods, serious and direct. Kong is still blushing but remains eye contact with the leader out of respect.

Ash looks into brown orbs with worry, combated by comfort and assurance. "It'll be fine." Eiji rubs his thumb between scarred knuckles. The other lets out a deep breath and hesitates letting go. 

To keep him safe..to get this over with.

"Goodbye Eiji."

The foreigner frowns at the gang leader at the door. 

"I will see you later."

The door closes.

"Eiji! You have boobs!!" Bones yells in shock.  
"You look like a girl!" Kong places his palm to his chest, pressing on.

"N-not like that!" Eiji glares, skin flaming red when he hides his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Movie reference!


	8. Grace, Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur has a plan. A Horrible plan.  
> Ash and Eiji get some pregnancy education cause Eiji’s just too darn uncomfortable :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Wattpad for more updates and effecting scenes :D

"So..the lynx rooted himself into that Jap, huh?" 

Arthur twirls a pen through his fingers, rocking in a black work chair that squeaks. It echoes throughout the warehouse. The chair does not even push back too far, just a small annoying bounce. He smirks. "How far along?"

"Almost ten weeks." Wookie replies with a smirk, admiring the blade he spins in his hands. The metal is chipped and the handle is wrapped with a leather whip. Unscathed. Arthur scoffs, squeezing the pen in his fist, "Fat bitch." Wookie and the five others in the room. It's cackling and howling, revealed intentions of wanting to club the pregnant boy in the stomach. It's easy to mistake the commotion inside with wild hyenas. "Kill the doctors of the underground." Arthur smirks and snaps the pen in half, both pieces falling to the floor with a clink. Wookie snaps his arm and puts his knife in its case hanging from his belt loop. "In their area?"

"Every. Single. One."

Dark looks are passed around.

"From New York," Arthur stands with his chair creaking. The chair follows behind him, yanking forward at the limp. A rope and handcuffs connect his left leg to the base of the chair, strings of wire and metal poking up. "To Buffalo.." the blonde walks to the open warehouse garage door, looking up over the building across from them to the stars, "To Plattsburgh." He staccatos. 

"Sure is a treasure, aye Arthur?" A man teases, skinny with baggy ripped jeans.

"You wouldn't understand." The leader spits, glaring and rubbing his arms with obsession. 

"The kid. Should we tell Dino about this.?" Another one of the men asks, higher pitch and raspy. Arthur is quick to answer, "No." the others shift uneasily. "It's mine. I will make sure Ash Lynx begs to me, Fredrick Arthur, not to harm his little family. On his knees in crying shambles." 

The image is clear in his head. 

The floor is bloody with the panting foreigner in so much pain, writhing on the floor. Every exhale is a whimper. Green eyes water and shrink, veins popping out of the silky pale skin. Cries and screams of agony. 

Arthur smirks with motivation. "This is my fantasy."

-

Every slit throat was suspicious. Ash knew this..he just had to keep looking. "Dammit!" The blonde curses, bawling his fist to hit the keyboard but then correcting themselves. They do punch into the counter, shaking the cabinets and emitting a loud thump. This is the tenth underground doctor that had 'mysteriously denied service.' She was just available two days ago! A bad feeling was starting to churn in the lynx' stomach. Eiji was in pain in the room next door. The elder would deny, but Ash could recognize pain in the eyes of humans. He was all too familiar with it. The boy had a hard time sleeping that night, he should calm down and be more quiet. The gang leader was really worried. He would go to this doctor and see what was going on.

Ash enters the bedroom quietly, not letting the living room lights seep in. The room is dark with the curtains closed. A white candle is lit on the nightstand making the room smell other than sweat and hormones. Black hair sticks out from a nest of blankets and pillows, body finally curled up inside and still after hours of restlessness. It made the blonde frown. "I'll be right back." He whispers and kisses the sweaty forehead. Eiji emits a tired hum and stirs. "No no no, go back to sleep." Ash sits next to the, adorable, cocoon and brushes Eiji's hair until he falls back to sleep. Which he does.

Ash Lynx leaves the apartment as quiet as a mouse.

—

It now made sense that he couldn't get an appointment from this doctor. You can't exactly be treated by a dead person. 

Blood is smeared everywhere on the small offices walls. The source for the paintings is from the females slit open neck, spilling dried dark red. Ash had to cover his nose with his shirt to not spell the pungent scent of death. No, this wasn't death. It was murder. The flies that buzz by make it ten times worse. The smearing is a taunt from the murderer, Ash was sure. Who was targeting the underground medics? And why? 

The blonde bows his head and turns on his heels, "I'm sorry." After covering her body with a sheet from a table, he leaves shaking from anger.

—

If Eiji Okumura didn't get medical help quick, he was for sure a goner. Forced tightening from the cramps did not help either. If he just dropped the boy off at a hospital, he could be safe and have a proper carry there. Ash would meet up after the seven months were over. The wait would be torture, but in the end..seeing that small face and tiny fingers in the Japanese boys' arms would be well damn worth it. The Lynx did grow up studying male pregnancy, since he worried about it often, and even with the knowledge of knowing what to do, he had no idea how to execute- where to get the tools. 'Loosening' could be scary and painful for the carrier and causing pain to the innocent boy was far infinite away from Ash' bucket list.

"Eiji." Ash uses his leader voice to show he means business and isn't leaving room for discussion.  
Eiji rocks back and forth on the bed, sitting up and leaning back with his hands behind him, waist arched. An itch he can't scratch. "Mhm?" He hums, high pitched. Eiji stops moving and crosses his legs, full attention on his boyfriend. "You need to go to a hospital."

Before, he just knew, Eiji would interject, Ash hurries his idea. "I know I know. But, you'd be safe and taken care of. I can't offer good care for you guys. The doctors..are running short and the risk of us getting hurt is too great a price." Ash slows down at the end. "I wouldn't see you until the time comes, but I can wait that long. Just as long as you two are safe." The blonde can't help it, he frowns. Looking down so Eiji doesn't see, he tries giving assurance. "And after this is all over, we can run away. Everything, out the window. Just us three. Eiji." Scarred hands cling onto small soft ones, sweaty from its own changes. Ash doesn't even know he is breathing loudly until the other hushes him and kisses at the chapped lips, very gently. This relaxes the pent up boys shoulders, sighing into lips and giving himself up. "Ash." Eiji breaks away. "I am not going to a hospital. Leaving you for seven months? Waiting to see your own child. That is more painful than pregnancy. Plus, it could be even more dangerous since it would just be me." The raven haired boy explains, opening eyes that the Lynx keeps closing. "Together. We said together. It'll be okay! We'll do some research and get this right."

Ash whimpers, cheeks red from worry, "I don't wanna hurt you." His pitch is squeaked and stringless to stay flat, calm. He could never want to hurt Eiji..

"You can never hurt me, Ash." Eiji smiles sadly, "I just feel you." Soothing the skin between Ash' knuckles with his thumb, he leans forward to give an assuring kiss. "Trust me. I know what's going to happen." 

God..

"Trust me like I trust you...please" that accent whispers. 

If you are real..and you've just been shitting on me for the past seventeen years, now's the time that we need to make up, buddy. 

"I can't do this without you." Eiji rests his forehead on Ash'. His skin is sweaty with the smell of berries. 

You sent one of your angels down here and I have no idea why. I'm trying to protect him but I can't ensure his safety. Please...I know I'm going to hell and don't deserve the listen, but I beg of you. Give all of his pain to me...leave my boyfriend alone. Let my baby be.. Let Eiji have a smooth pregnancy...not so painful, and safe. I'll do anything! I'll start praying, I'll go to church! I'll read the da- the bible! Just leave them alone!!

I don't know what to do. I'm scared... he needs someone that is caring and that can stay home with him everyday. A pregnancy with gender reveals and buying a crib. Large shirts that have adorable baby puns in them when his stomach gets too big. Fussing about his weight, brunches with friends, meetings to meet other moms and dads, spa days. Eiji deserves everything good. And I can't give that to him.. I'm selfish for wanting him to stay. I'm greedy for wanting to see our child born. But I have a right to be! I've had nothing in this life. 

Protect him...for Eiji's sake. I only ask for this.

Later that day, Arthur's car crashes and kills five of his goons. 

——-

"This one." Eiji stares at the computer screen blankly.

"No! The thumbnail looks uncomfortable!" Ash covers his face, Eiji tugs on his sleeve to lower them.

"Well I feel uncomfortable with this thing in me, but I'm still kicking." Eiji clicks the video. "Plus, you don't judge a book by its cover. I just need something." He complains with a whine, tilting his head and tapping his feet on the floor.

"This is the male anatomy. When pregnant, these features start to change, as seen here. Connected to the rectum, a tube is burrowed into surrounding muscle and tunnel into an organ, similar to the woman womb. Through the tunnel, sponge like filters line the walls. These are called xcuvs. Xcuvs filter, if released inside, seed into the male womb, making.."

Eiji clicks off of the video a blushing mess. Ash laughs. "I bet you were a sight when you learned about puberty in school!" He teases, earning a punch to the shoulder. The couple sit on the couch once again, computer on the coffee table. Eiji slumps over trying to find an educational video about "phases." He could already feel his back start to tighten as days go by. 

They find a video for what they need. It's a two hour long segment. Part one out of six. The boys give a knowing look at each other. It's up to you to interpret.

After a couple of minutes, through introductions and anatomy lessons, the man brings out the doll. Yes, the doll. So cliché. "There are phases in male pregnancy that must be taken care of. Today, we will be talking about the first phase. Now, when it hits, their body can start to tighten up and create highly uncomfortable cramps." The lesson continues and shows the two young lovers how to take care of it. Ash, following along, has Eiji on his back with his knees tucked and to his chest. The raven haired boy has his head lazily turned to the computer, the blonde on top of him and pointing three fingers to Eiji's thigh, copying the technique showed and rubbing slow circles. Of course the thigh isn't the place where the fingers were supposed to be.

"I think I have to turn," Eiji begins to shift to his side, releasing a tired breath, "this way."

Ash stops him with a hand to his shoulder, "Wait, no. He said the back is better. Can you spread your legs a lil?" He requests, straight faced. Eiji snorts at the seriousness and carelessly separates his legs from each other, leaving space for Ash to get closer. Instead, he leans forward and gives the boy below him a kiss to the cheek. "You're so brave, Eiji."

"I have you." Black strands cover brown eyes. Ash brings his hands up and moves Eiji's hair beside his ears, thumbs resting on his temple. 

"Watching pregnancy videos." Ash chuckles.

"How else will we learn?" Eiji grunts and raises the space between his hips and abdomen.

Noses rub nudge against each other. 

"Onto the next one!" Eiji giggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t believe in God LOL.

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t worry- you’ll get the boys in the next chapter XD follow me on Wattpad @RagnersMind for more connection!


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